What's In A Name?

Marianne

Christie Lee

Lola

Layla

Suzanne

Laura

Cecilia

Michelle

Nikita

Hindsight Is A Wonderful Thing.

So this is what I prepared for myself in anticipation of my final two teeth being removed;

It's basically shepherds pie but all mushed together so i don't have to chew anything.

I also made gluten free cupcakes, because I haven't yet and I wanted to try it;

They're pretty yum(albeit ugly), but I'm not sure I'll be able to eat them. I was already struggling and I only had two holes in my mouth.

HOWEVER, this (see below) is what I'm actually eating post third and fourth tooth extraction;

I should have known I wouldn't be able to do anything that require anything other than swallowing. SO I blended a banana, some honey, a gluten free cupcake, a couple of spoonfuls of creamed rice, some yoghurt and some milk together and made myself a breakfast shake. It's a pretty weird texture and tastes a bit like everything all at once but I don't exactly have a choice if I want to remain nourished. I also can't really use the straw - the suction causes my wounds to open and bleed noxious muck all in my mouth. Bleh.

I guess my new mantra is - If I cannot drink it, I cannot eat it.

FML

I'm SO hungry.

Damn tooth extraction.

OWWW!

I have the worst memory ever but I'm pretty sure this time hurts more than last time. And My face is still numb so, like - it shouldn't, right?

...

Two more teeth out and I realise that  Shania twain is not my middle-aged, male dentist's favourite artist. Rather, he craftily plays her catchy, nostalgia tinted and distractingly soothing music deliberately so that I will wrap myself in the melody and forget all about his be-forceped hands in my mouth twisting, pushing, grinding and levering my molars out of my jaw.

Sneaky Devil!

Rose Tinted.

Triangles Are The New Black.

And it's a little bit annoying.

Froooom... Thiiiiis... Mo-ment...

So getting two of my molars RIPPED out of my mouth was not pleasant at all. Think BLOOD, DROOL and a PALPITATING HEART!

But Shania Twain on my middle-aged, male dentist's stereo made it all worthwhile....

(Seriously, this should be everybody's wedding song. Except don't use it, it's mine!)

I hate...

People that slurp.
People that burp.
Hens parties.
Facebook.
Being jealous.
The fact that I frequently get jealous.
The fact that Facebook is generally the cause of my jealousy.
Long distance relationships.
Peanuts.
Sun-dried tomatoes.
Marshmallows.
The colour pink.
Fizzy drink.
White wine.
Tracksuits.
Working.
Being addicted to chocolate.
Have an intolerance for gluten.
Cheese.
Short-short-shorts.
Heat.
Fast cars.
Loud Cars.
Big Cars.
Red Cars.
Rich people.
Stupid people.
War.
Poverty.
Famine.
Greed.
Crime.
Excess.
The Man.
Religion.
Racism.
Chocolate being kept in the freezer.
Instant coffee.
White carpet.
There's-a-hundred-bloody-channels-and-nothing-to-watch.
Boredom.
Hindsight.
Bad breath.
Karaoke.
Mustard.
Jazz.
Aussie Hip-Hop.
Lies.
Awful Truths.
Motivational posters.
Fur coats.
Olives.
Crooked teeth.
House music.
Dance music.
Drunk people.
Cigarettes.
Sunburn.
Coca-Cola.
Hallmark.
Standard trading hours.
Daylight savings.
Postage and Handling fees.
Front load washing machines.
Wasting anything.
Avocado's.
High heels.
Travel writers.
Jealousy of travel writers.
Mosquitoes.
Paying for water.

I'm In Love.

With Paolo Sartori. More specifically - the shoes he makes. Just look at these honeys. I'll never take them off. Probably.

All In A Day.

Breakfast : Gluten Gluten free Pancakes with Caster Sugar and Fresh Squeezed Lemon Juice.

Lunch : Garden Salad with Cajun Spiced Chicken and Field Mushroom (both grilled to perfection, of course.)

Dinner : Coffee. I know, anti-climax. Still delicious though.

See, folks. It isn't hard to eat deliciously and nutriciously.

The Customer Is (NOT) Always Right!

I've been working in the hospitality industry for close to four years now and I have to say: The longer I do it - the less I understand it.

See my view on eating out is this;

I can't be bothered cooking and even if I could be - I'm starved of inspiration, I'm sick of eating on the couch in front of the tele, I'd like a side of conversation with that. So, hey, I know... I'll call a friend and we'll go out for dinner. They can cook for me, clean for me, I'll get to sit in a chair at a table and I'll be stimulating my mind with meaningful gossip instead of meaningless documentaries. No muss, no fuss and most of all - no effort, thought or disappointment.

These people that provide me this wealth of happiness are amazing in my eyes. I can't thank them enough. I ask their advice, I trust them to do the right thing by me and I reward them for providing me with this most necessary of services.

UNFORTUNATELY, this is not the view the majority of the population seem to take.

They want the door closed, the table over there, a different chair, a different sauce, a different wine, a different cocktail, a different dessert, better service, fresh side plates... Oh my god you guys! If you wanted dinner done your way - WHY'D YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE?

WHERE DID ALL THE WINE GO!?!?!?!

And now I'm watching "Cocaine Diaries" a doco on Colombia.

Healthy.

Oooh bay-beh, bay-beh! B-bay-beh-bay-bah!

Lion cubs are born with spots...

Pygmy Marmoset babies are the side of a finger...

A baby Echidna is called a "puggle" 

Oh bay-bay you aww hawt!